let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm like, not good at living.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
