i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
