I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
