I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
