it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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