i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
