Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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