i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
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Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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