I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
