Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
