Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize