Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my liver is dry heaving
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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