I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
