Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
