Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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