a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
