Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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