So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
