oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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