..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just had sex bonerless
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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