accomplished twins. life is a go
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
