I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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