I'm gonna have a badass scar
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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