I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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