omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
