i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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