Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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