You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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