You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize