The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
