And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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