How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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