Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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