I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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