does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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