dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
