happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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