You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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