id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
