so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
