Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
MIDGETS
????
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
