Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
