Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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