is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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