she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
