So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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