Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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