Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
