dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
foreskin is a definite game changer
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
