Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Randomize
