Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
