She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
