I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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