you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
