it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
