Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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