are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
