Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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