i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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