He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
