At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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