Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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