i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize