You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
