ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
