You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's official drugs can't kill me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
